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Want to make 2021 your best year yet, Mama? Here are 21 things to stop doing to yourself if you want to be happier this year.
On December 31st, 2019, at 10:30 p.m., I sat in the bathtub with a glass of wine and a notebook.
My husband was working in China at the time. My kids were in bed, having toasted the new year with sparkling cider at 8 p.m. My parents (who the boys and I were staying with) were at a New Year’s Eve party.
I was all alone, reflecting on the previous year and planning for the next one. Of course, no one could have planned for 2020, but reading back over those bathtub notes now, one year later, I’m struck by how many of the goals that I set for myself were accomplished. By how closely my vision of the way I wanted my future to look and feel matches how things actually turned out. Sure, I didn’t hit every mark, but I had a vision and I stuck to it, even when ‘plans’ changed.
Taking time out of our busy lives to decide what we want the future to look like is POWERFUL. Last year, I wrote on this blog about 20 habits we should consider adopting in 2020. This year, I’m chatting instead about some things we can cut out in the interest of enjoying a simple, efficient, joyful life.
21 Things Happy Mamas Might Stop Doing in 2021
Table of Contents
Stop Comparing Yourself with Others
It’s so easy to see what everyone is up to these days (or what they want us to see). Inevitably, once we start comparing, we fall short. Stop comparing your home, your family, and your mothering with those of your fellow moms. Focus instead on getting clear about what you want your life to look like and making that a reality.
Stop Asking Your Family Members to “Help” with the Chores
Even if you are a SAHM, you shouldn’t be responsible for EVERY childcare or home management task. When your partner and children do a chore or watch a child, they’re not helping you. They are participating as full members of the family. So, for this to work, you not only have to change your language when speaking to your family, but you need to stop trying to do everything alone.
Quit Expecting Everyone to Read Your Mind
We all have our own set of expectations and biases that we bring to any situation. Don’t assume that other people know what these are. If we are expecting someone to do or say something, often, we have to tell them. This doesn’t cheapen or negate the experience. It just means you might actually get what you want.
Stop Saying “I Don’t Have Time for…”
You have 1,440 minutes in a day. Realistically, you have “time” for pretty much anything you choose as a priority. Practice replacing “I don’t have time for [x]” with “[x] isn’t a priority for me right now.” Note how you feel. If saying something (exercise, playing with your kids, calling your best friend) isn’t a priority for you right now makes you feel bad, it might be time to reorganize your day in a way that better reflects those priorities.
Stop Leaving the Stuff You Want to Do for Last
How many times do you get to the end of the day and realize you haven’t done anything nice for yourself? How might this change if, as you planned each day, you put those things you wanted to do on the calendar first? You could then work your appointments and to-do list around these essential tasks.