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Curious about mom affirmations? Learn how to use positive affirmations for moms and discover why they are a vital part of a busy mama’s self-care.
I look like Frankenstein.
I’m probably giving a little TMI here, but that’s my first thought when I catch sight of myself naked. See, I’m a breast cancer survivor, and since I was diagnosed back in 2014, I’ve had surgery 7 times. I’ve got scars everywhere.
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I’d certainly never tell a friend she looked like Frankenstein. I’d never even comment on an enemy’s scars in this unkind way—even behind her back. But my first thought is to refer to myself as a monster.
Frankly, I find that unacceptable, and so, like most things that have no place in my life, I’m working to change it. How? With the power of positive affirmations.
What are positive affirmations?
Well, when you affirm something, you’re simply saying that it’s true. You and I already repeat affirmations to ourselves all day, they’re just usually the shitty kind—the ones that say our houses are too messy, we’re screwing up left and right with our kids, and we look like [insert your favorite monster here].
When we talk about using positive affirmations, we’re referring to mindfully repeating positive statements written in the present tense to help us fight all the negative chatter in our brains.
Why are positive affirmations for moms important?
We moms have lots of crap to do. Why should we make the time to add affirmations to our enormous to-do lists?
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Because when you repeat a message enough, it becomes a permanent part of who you are. And we are bombarded by negative messages.
From the time we’re born, we internalize messages from friends, family members, and even the media about the kind of people we are. We use these messages to cobble together our story, and we take on other people’s opinions as truth.
This is problematic because we hear negative messages more often than positive ones, and those negative messages can be pretty specific.
- Her butt is so ugly with all that cellulite on it.
- Can you believe she feeds her baby formula? Everyone knows breast is best.
- Her house was such a pigsty when I went over there.
And even when these messages weren’t specifically said to or about us, we can take them on as truth, adding them to our personal list of things to berate ourselves about.
Most of the Stuff We Tell Ourselves Is Bad
Estimates say that up to 77% or more of the stuff we say to ourselves is either completely false or totally counterproductive.
And what’s even more problematic is that research shows that it takes anywhere from 4-7 positive statements to overturn a single negative one. So even if we’re hearing nice things sometimes, we’re still likely to have a lousy self-image.
The good news is that your brain is always changing, and you can rewrite your internal script. Positive affirmations are one of the keys to changing all of this negative self-talk into an internal chatter that’s a little more helpful.
Skeptical? Here are some specific benefits of repeating positive affirmations for moms
I know, I know. Affirmations feel cheesy, and you’re worried they might be a pointless waste of time. Let’s see what science has to say.
- This study shows that positive affirmations can decrease stress, and this one shows that you can improve your performance in a stressful situation by using affirmations. You want less stress in your life, right?
- Want to work out more, but can’t seem to get motivated? This study indicates that with affirmations, you can make yourself want to exercise. Awesome.
- Maybe you’d like a healthier diet instead? In this study, people who used positive affirmations ate significantly more fruits and vegetables than those who didn’t.
- According to this study and this one, we can learn to use affirmations as a tool to help us cope with everyday threats. In the second study, college kids who used affirmations got better grades than those who didn’t. Looks like we mamas should be encouraging our kids to use positive affirmations, too!
And the best part? You don’t have to consciously believe affirmations for them to make a difference. Think of all the other unconscious messages you take on. I’m sure I didn’t actively choose to believe that having a 34-inch waist, two children who get accepted into Ivy League Universities, or a Roomba would make my life better, but somehow I’m convinced that I need them.
What you hear again and again becomes your truth. And you have the power to make it AMAZING.
Where to find mom affirmations
Ok, so you’re drinking my Kool-Aid and have decided to give affirmations a try. You can download my list of 110 Positive Affirmations for Moms right here, but the most effective ones are the ones you write yourself.
How the heck do you do that?
Write Your Own Affirmations Now:
- Take a day or so to pay attention to your self-talk, and note any negative statements that come up. We can rewrite those first.
- Once you’ve brainstormed these negative beliefs about yourself, consider what the opposite would sound like.
- Be sure to word your positive affirmations in the present tense. “I am…” is a great way to start.
- Include only positive words. Remove “don’t”, “can’t”, and “won’t” from your affirmations.
- Make your affirmations confident statements of fact. Include words like “am”, “do”, and “choose” rather than wishy-washy words like “could” and “might”.
- Make them short, but be specific.
How have I rewritten my “I look like Frankenstein“ negative affirmation? I created several options:
- I am better and better every day.
- I am beautiful, exactly the way I am.
- My scars are symbols of my strength.
How to use your mom affirmations
There are endless ways to use your new positive affirmations, and you need to find the method that fits into your life. You might like to repeat them as you wake up to start the day with a positive thought. A post-it on your mirror or a note in your journal can be a visual way to remind yourself that you’re awesome.
You might choose to repeat your affirmations several times before bed to end the day on a high note.
My favorite method? To catch myself in the very moment that I’m ripping myself apart. I change the negative statement to a positive one, and I repeat the positive statement at least four times.
Kids Need Affirmations, Too
As I said earlier, you’ve been collecting negative messages your whole life to add to your personal narrative. Those tiny humans that you’re parenting are collecting information they’re using to create their internal voices right now.
You have the power to expose them to loads of positive messages to counteract all the don’ts, shouldn’ts, and not-good-enoughs. And you have the responsibility to set them straight when you hear them saying terrible things about themselves.
I’ve got a great way for BOTH of you to practice positive self-talk together: Mantras for Mama and Me: An Affirmation Coloring Book for Moms and Kids to Share. It combines the fun and relaxing activity of coloring with positive messages you can both use for a powerful way to bond together. Learn all about it here!
So How’s All This Affirmation Stuff Working Out for Me?
Honestly, my baggage surrounding my battle scars isn’t going away overnight, but my self-talk does improve little by little every day. And when I say I’m beautiful exactly the way I am, the smile on my face tells me that deep down inside, I’m truly starting to believe it.
Mama, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect by EVERYONE. Especially yourself. Give mom affirmations a try, and see if they don’t make your self-talk a little more positive, too.
Thank you for this post, I really agree! Positive self talk has changed my life. It helps me be a bettermother.