How to Create the Self-Care Toolkit You Need for a Rainy Day

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Learn how to make a self-care toolkit to help you feel better when life gets tough.

This week, I felt like I was trying to walk through Jello. Sure, I managed my routine. The kids and I did homeschool every day. I cooked dinner every night. I even managed to get out of my pajamas every day, which, let’s face it, is an accomplishment when you know you won’t see anyone you’re unrelated to.

I couldn’t manage to feel any real energy or enthusiasm, though, and this was a sure sign to me that I needed to pay a little more attention to my self care. I dug into my self-care toolkit, gave myself a little love, and I’m happy to report that I’m feeling like myself again.

What’s a self-care toolkit, you ask?

Well, in short, it’s a collection of resources that you keep on hand that can help you feel better when you’re struggling. The items in your self-care toolkit are things that help you feel great. They comfort you, make you happy, and help you relax.

Here’s the problem.

Most moms I know give zero thought to what would help them feel comforted, happy, and relaxed. They get so busy doing for their families that they don’t consider self-care until it’s an emergency.

So, just like those emergency kits we’re supposed to keep in our homes and our cars in case of blizzards, wildfire, or earthquakes, I encourage you to plan ahead to acquire a self-care toolkit.

This kit needn’t be bulky or expensive. Even minimalists can hide away a couple of small surprises for a rainy day. Because rainy days will come, and when they do, you are going to have something to look forward to, Mama.

How to create your self-care toolkit

The process of creating the self-care toolkit is pretty easy. You just have to remember the things that make you feel great.

What’s your favorite scent, most comfy outfit, softest blanket? What makes you laugh, makes you think, and makes you feel beautiful?

If you’re stumped here, it can help to think of your five senses and what each of them loves.

Touch

What feels good to you? Because my feet are always cold, I can’t be truly comfy without a pair of soft socks. You might like to include something similarly cozy like a fuzzy bathrobe or a weighted blanket.

A weighted blanket like this one would be amazing to soothe you on a crummy day. Click here to grab one.

Taste

What kind of small little treat would make you feel pampered? Is it a piece of decadent chocolate? A chamomile tea? A glass of wine? This treat won’t work if you just feel bad about eating it afterward, so whatever you choose, be sure that you can enjoy it guilt-free.

I’ve been known to include an individually wrapped truffle or ten in my kit. You can grab yours here.

Smell

My favorite scent is lavender, hands down. A lot of my stuff is lavender-scented anyway, but my toolkit has a lavender sachet and a small bottle of lavender essential oil for a little boost that I don’t get every day.

What aromatherapy scents could you include in your kit to make you calmer or happier? Do you love the smell of a particular candle, oil or body wash?

I love that this lavender and thyme candle comes with a lid. Perfect to store in your self-care kit.

NEED A BREAK, MAMA?

Check out the FREE No Time, No Money, No Problem Self Care Challenge! It’s 7 Days of fast, free, and fun ideas you can use to pamper yourself–all delivered via your favorite podcast app. You’ll also be subscribed to updates from Mama Goes Beyond.

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Sight

Is there a painting, an old photo, or an inspirational quote that makes you smile? Do you have a vision board of your ideal life? Any of these things would be good to keep in your toolkit to uplift you when you’re down.

While we’re talking about what you see, I want to address your home for a minute. Do you have a haven space? A special corner in your home that is just yours? If you don’t, it’s time to get one, and to take good care of it. Often, our own bedrooms and bathrooms are the yuckiest places in the house, since nobody sees them but us.

Where can you go to recharge, though, that doesn’t bug the shit out of you because it looks cluttered or dirty? Have at least one comfy spot, maybe two so you’ve got a backup in case of emergency. Oh, and while you’re at it, make sure your family has been taught to respect a closed door.

Raise your hand if you need a nook like this in your life. Now, how can you create one?

Hearing

What do you like to listen to when you’re upset?

My husband always teases me about my “Rainy Day Music Mix”, but sometimes I just need to listen to The Cure, you know?

Do you have a go-to playlist of energizing or soothing music?
Is there a meditation that always calms you?
Do you have any feel-good podcasts or interesting audiobooks ready to go without looking for them?

Oh, and you might want to throw a pair of headphones in your toolkit if you have a husband like mine who makes fun of your music or littles whose noisy playing will distract you from your meditation.

These affordable wireless headphones charge in their storage box, and they’re waterproof for drowning out your family while you’re relaxing in the tub. Grab your pair here.

Something to do

What activity helps you to relax? We’ve already mentioned some above, but there are lots of other activities that could be soothing. You might consider:

Doing a breathing exercise such as 4-7-8 breathing or alternate nostril breathing
Reading a good book
Doing some yoga
Soaking in the tub with some special bath salts or a bath bomb
Working on a quiet hobby like coloring or knitting

RELATED: 100+ Hobbies for Moms That Will Make Your Life Fun Again
Writing in your journal
Repeating some affirmations
Doing a beauty treatment

A coloring book filled with cute critters with foul mouths? Shut up and take my money. Get your copy here.

Do it Now

Brainstorm your favorites in each of these categories: thing to touch, thing to taste, thing to smell, thing to look at, thing to hear, and thing to do
If the physical items you need are already in your home, gather them together. If not, make a plan to pick them up on your next shopping trip, or add them to your Amazon cart.
Do you have an ebook to read, podcast to listen to, and playlist to enjoy while you take your bath or rest in the hammock? If not, download these so they’re easy to access when you need them.
Find your haven space in your home. If it needs to be spruced up a bit, set a timer for 10 minutes and work to make it really inviting.
Make a plan for where your kids will be while you’re practicing self-care. Will you plan to do it after they’re in bed? While your husband watches them? While they’re playing on the iPad? What’s Plan B?

Putting your self-care toolkit together

Although everything in you self-care kit doesn’t need to physically be in a box, I think it’s fun to leave some tangible surprises for your future self.

Imagine how awesome it will be the next time you have a terrible day to open up a box with some new things you know you’ll love inside, some inspirational quotes or affirmations and some ideas for fun things to do along with any materials you may need.

This box was made for holding a chocolate stash that your kids will never find. The item description specifies that it can hold in smells and there’s even a Kit Kat in one of the product images. Click here to check it out.

At the very least, I’d write a little love note to yourself–something along the lines of,

Dear Anissa,
Sorry you had such a shitty day. Don’t forget you stashed that chocolate behind the flax seed in the pantry. Think of five things you’re grateful for really quick, take ten deep breaths, and go listen to Brené Brown’s podcast. Oh, and don’t forget these words from Maya Angelou, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
You got this.
Love, Me

Remember, you are responsible for your own happiness. You should be your own best friend. Plan ahead now for the ways you’ll care for yourself later. Don’t wait until you’re tapped out.

Oh, and if you do feel like you’re walking through Jello right now and don’t have your toolkit made yet? I’ve got you. I made a free No Time, No Money, No Problem Self-Care Challenge. Click here to gain access to 7 days worth of fast and free ideas you can use to pamper yourself. And hang in there, Mama.

Better days are coming. XO