8 Tips You Need to Make Purging Emotional Clutter Easier

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Looking for some tips on clearing emotional clutter? Getting rid of all the stuff we feel sentimental about is tough. Here’s how to do it.

I sat in my front hallway, crying over a Caboodle.

You know Caboodles, right? They’re like tackle boxes, but made a little girlier and designed to hold small treasures like makeup, jewelry, or craft supplies.

I got my Caboodle in high school, and since college, it had held my stage makeup. It had been with me backstage in the dressing room of countless shows. And now, I had passed it on to a bright-eyed theatre kid—along with my tap shoes and some songbooks. I closed the door and I lost it. I felt like I had given a part of my personal history away.

I’ve never considered myself to be a particularly sentimental person. Something funny happened when I decided to get rid of everything, though. All of a sudden, EVERYTHING had a story, and vitally important reason why I needed to keep it.

The only problem was, that we were planning to travel full-time as a family without a home base. I no longer had a closet to stuff these things in.

And so I was finally being confronted with the stuff that wasn’t obvious trash. The stuff that I likely would have kept forever, buried in a box or shoved on a high shelf.

You might not be getting rid of all your stuff. At some point, though, you’re going to be confronted with clutter that you don’t really want in your home, but you don’t feel like you can let go of emotionally.

Here are some tips for dealing with this clutter that brings up all the feels.

Make it useful

When my Grandma died, there was a lifetime worth of stuff that needed to go somewhere. I, of course, wanted something to remember her by. I ended up grabbing the rolling pin from her kitchen. Grandma’s baked goods were always something special, and I was grateful to have her kitchen mojo when I was making our weekly Friday night pizzas. 

When you’re confronted with something that seems like clutter, can you change that item (or a piece of the collection) into an essential part of your household?

RELATED: Want to Get Rid of Everything You Own? Here’s How to Do It

Donate things with an open heart

In the spirit of making it useful, is there someone who needs your sentimental item more than you do?

I got several lovely handmade blankets when I was going through chemotherapy.

At such a trying time, it was natural to get emotionally attached to each one. I knew I didn’t have the room to store or display all of them, though. I chose one to use each week as I sat in the chemo room. I donated the rest to Project Linus , a charity that provides handmade blankets to children who need them.

The blankets not only made me feel loved and supported when I received them, but they made several children feel cared for as well. That’s a win-win.

Don’t feel that you need to keep something because it was a gift

In the scenario above, it would be easy to feel guilty that I was getting rid of something that someone had taken the time to make for me. The gift had already served its purpose, though.

I had already smiled and gotten a little teary as I opened the package. I had already gotten the message that the giver cared about and supported me. I didn’t need the blanket sitting around for the next 50 years to remind me of that.

In fact, I believe I honored each giver and her gift more by not letting it become a burden. Do you think the person that loves you enough to give you a gift really wants you feeling stressed, guilty, or uncomfortable every time you look at it?

Regardless of what the giver thinks, the stuff in your home should make you feel good. Period. If it’s not doing that, let it go. No guilt allowed.

Remember that things are not memories

It’s so easy to treat a thing almost as a talisman–a magical object that represents for us a relationship, an accomplishment, or an experience.

I didn’t need Grandma’s entire collection of kitchenwares to remember her. Letting go of the jacket I got as swag when I ran a marathon didn’t make the accomplishment any less impressive. Getting rid of the ticket stub from that concert in 1997 doesn’t mean that you’re destined to forget it happened.

As you go through your home looking for items you can purge, ask yourself if you’re sentimental about the item or the memory. Chances are, it’s the former. Keep in mind that memories are memories. We can keep them in our heads and hearts forever. We don’t need physical things cluttering our closets, garages, and basements to represent them all.

You can keep one

If getting rid of a large collection of things feels too hard, why not keep just one, and give it a place of honor?

• Keep the best Pez dispenser from your collection in a shadowbox in your office as a conversation piece.
• Pack one special baby outfit away as a reminder of when your kiddos were small.
• Put your favorite drawing of your child’s in a frame on the wall.

If everything is special, nothing is special. Curate your collection so that you can enjoy what you have.

Take photos

When I was doing my mega-purge, I took loads of photos before I sold things, gave things away, or put them in the trash.

From time to time, one of these photos will pop up as I’m looking for something else. I still get the smile and the jolt of memory, but I’m not burdened by the physical object.

Say goodbye

Marie Kondo, author of the megahit decluttering book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up advocates thanking your possessions for all they do for you. Although it can feel a little hokie, it fits in well with a general attitude of gratitude for all the things that make life better.

Take the time to say goodbye to things that have been well-loved as you’re getting rid of them. I still tear up a bit thinking of saying goodbye to Binkie, my special bear from childhood.

I’d had Binkie since age 2 or so, and he’d been hiding in the backs of closets or the bottoms of stuffed animal hammocks for about 35 years. There wasn’t space for him in my limited room for keepsakes, so I thanked him for being my buddy all these years, gave him one last hug, and added him to my trash bag.

Remember ‘Why’

If you’re choosing to declutter, there’s a reason for it. Maybe you’re moving into an RV. Perhaps you need the “spare bedroom” for a new baby. Maybe all your stuff is just bugging the crap out of you.

Whatever your reason, you’re letting go of stuff to make room for more–both literally and figuratively. Keep the reason why you’re decluttering in mind when things get tough.

I will say, as hard as it was to part with the Caboodle, the baby blanket, and, of course Binkie, I wouldn’t want them back. Doing the emotional work required to say goodbye to them made a new, unburdened life possible for me. One in which I no longer need a Caboodle.