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Moms, are household chores leaving you overwhelmed? Read about how to keep a clean house with kids, and download a chore chart and list of jobs kids can do!
Before I had kids, I vowed my home wouldn’t ever look like a daycare center.
You know what I mean–plastic toys and tiny furniture all over the place. But around the time my kids were 2 and 4, it dawned on me that it did look like that. Toys were everywhere. No-spill snack cups lived on the coffee table. The floors were usually a little sticky.
And I started to get…pissed off. Because keeping the house looking decent seemed to be 99.9% my job.
- Didn’t the mess make anybody else feel yucky?
- How hard was it for everyone to just put his shit away when he was done?
- Did being the parent who stayed at home really mean that I had to be the family’s sole housekeeper?
My experience was pretty typical. The Bureau of Labor Statistics 2018 Time Survey shows that on a given day, 20% of men did housework compared with 49% of women.
And, according to science, our cluttered and dirty house does bother me more than the others. Researchers at UCLA found that moms’ cortisol (stress hormone) levels increased when walking through their messy homes. Fathers and kids didn’t have the same response.
Look, regardless of whether or not sticky floors make your partner and kids nuts, housework is part of living in a family. Everyone needs to contribute to getting it done.
Ready to get your house clean and organized with everyone’s help? Keep reading for a step-by-step process to keep your house clean with kids.
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HOW TO KEEP A CLEAN HOUSE WITH KIDS
Step 1: Keep up with the clutter
The first thing to do when trying to keep a clean house with kids is to get rid of your clutter. It’s really hard to clean when the surfaces in our homes are covered with stuff.
- I’ve got a whole post on managing toy clutter, which is a major source of clutter in many families.
- Keep paper clutter under control by processing junk mail right when it comes in the house. Also, store any papers you need out of sight. I’ve got a large box like this one. It looks decorative but holds all the bills I need to pay, magazines I want to read, and mail that my husband needs to see. When the box is full—it’s time to throw things away.
- Make it your goal to have a home for everything and put it back there after it’s been used. A great new motto for your house would be “Don’t Put It Down, Put It Away”.
- If you’ve got a large place, consider keeping baskets in each room to collect items that need to be rehomed. (We loved these baskets which fit right on the stairs in our former home).
- Regardless of whether you’ve stored them in a basket or left them scattered all over the room, take a few minutes every day to re-home items that aren’t where they belong. I call this a 10-Minute Pickup, and my family does at least one every day.
Step 2: Take stock of what needs to be cleaned and set up a routine
You might already know what needs to be cleaned and how often you’d ideally do it. If so, putting it together in a chart or checklist will assure that all the housecleaning chores get done.
If you don’t know where to start, here’s what we try to do in my house on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. (You can download a printable copy of this chore chart–and lots of other cool stuff–from the Subscriber Hub in my Mama’s Lounge.)
As you can see, I have a goal list of things that I like to do each day, each week, and each month. The daily cleaning tasks typically take less than an hour.
I try to break up the weekly and monthly tasks so that we’re doing no more than 1 or 2 each day. I keep track of all of our household tasks in the Upkeep app ($1.99). In the app, I’m able to schedule reminders, check when a chore was last done, and even save instructions for doing it.
Having routines means that each job gets done before it gets overwhelming. (Yes, this is why I typically wash a load of clothes and run the dishwasher every day.) Routines also mean that everyone in the family knows what to expect, so there’s less grumbling about doing a task when the time comes.
Resist the temptation to make your schedule rigid. Aim instead to clean something approximately once a day, week, month, or year, and be kind to yourself if you miss a day.
Step 3: Choose cleaning supplies/products that are safe and easy for everyone to use
If you’ve got small kids in the house, you’ll want to make sure that you (and they!) are cleaning with non-toxic products. The easiest way to insure that your cleaning products are safe is to make them yourself. It’s amazing how much can be cleaned with just vinegar, baking soda and water.
Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia has some great recipes for non-toxic DIY cleaners here. Here is my favorite non-toxic all-purpose cleaner recipe:
1 Part Water
1 Part Vinegar
A Squeeze of Lemon Juice
A few drops of Lavender Essential Oil
Even the littlest kiddo could clean with this safely. If he’s going to help, you’ll want your cleaning products to be in smaller bottles that are easy for tiny hands to use. This little spray bottle holds only 8 ounces and has an easy-to-use sprayer.
Here’s a list of some other products that the whole family can use to help around the house:
- Microfiber cleaning cloths
- Dustpan and hand broom
- Hand vacuum
- Small watering can
- Child-safe nylon knives
Step 4: Store cleaning supplies in a place where the family can easily access them
Obviously, you want to be safe with the types of cleaning products that kids can reach. Poisonous chemicals should be on a high shelf or behind a safety lock to protect your littlest ones from having access.
Your non-toxic cleaning supplies, rags, and other cleaning utensils should be easy for you and your children to find and access, though. If your house has multiple floors, you might consider having multiple sets of cleaning supplies on each floor. I know many families who go so far as to keep a vacuum on each floor and cleaning supplies in each bathroom so that they are always quickly accessible.
If you are planning to have children help with tasks like setting the table, unloading the dishwasher, or chopping veggies, make sure the items they need are accessible to them.
Step 5: Get everyone (including the kids) involved
Look, you are not the default housekeeper just because you happen to be female or just because you stay at home. Stop asking your family for “help”.
Have a tough conversation with your husband if you need to–this book will help. Let children know from the time they are very young that taking care of a home is everyone’s job.
Kids as young as 2 have the motor skills necessary to complete many tasks. Yes, it will take them longer than it will take you to do the same task. Yes, at first they will probably do a terrible job. Suck it up. The investment you make know in teaching your children to contribute will pay huge dividends later.
Wondering what kids can do? Here’s a list. (Click here to download a printable copy of the image below–and lots of other cool stuff–from the Subscriber Hub in my Mama’s Lounge.)
Tips for getting reluctant family members to help:
OK, so you’ve established great cleaning and decluttering routines and gotten the kids the proper cleaning supplies. If your family is still reluctant to pull their weight, here are some ideas to try:
- Put on some music: High energy music always makes cleaning a little more fun. I have a favorite playlist I use when cleaning. You can listen to it here.
- Make it a game: My boys are super competitive, so changing anything into a game works well. We often race to see who can finish his job first, pretend to be cleaning robots, or play “I Spy” to discover new things that need to be done. We’ve even done a freezing game with the playlist above where the boys clean like crazy, but freeze when I pause the music.
- Set a timer: Set a timer for 10 minutes, let every member of the household choose a job, and have everyone work as fast as he can. You’ll be amazed at what can be accomplished in a short time.
- Let them know taking care of the house is a family expectation and part of being ‘grown up’: Sometimes, reminding the kids that they have more responsibilities because they’re a valued member of the family who is such a big kid can help with the resistance. Regardless, remind them that running the household is everyone’s responsibility.
- Don’t grumble about it yourself: If you’re constantly complaining about all you need to do in terms of housework and how much you hate doing it, your kids will be more likely to think negatively about chores. Try your best to keep a cheerful attitude yourself, and you’ll help set the tone for everyone else.
A side note for moms of babies and young toddlers:
I wrote these steps to keep a clean house with kids from the perspective of a mom with school-aged children. You are in the trenches of parenting right now. There is lots of work to do, and not enough hands to do it. You will still benefit from keeping up on clutter, making a list of chores/routine for yourself and your partner, stashing great cleaning supplies where you need to use them, and doing your best to make cleaning fun and fast with music and a timer.
You’ll also likely need to lower your standards a little bit, though. Cleaning in the few minutes that a baby is sleeping is really tough, and baby wearing while cleaning is no fun. Do your best, and realize that the definition of ‘best’ changes in different phases of your life. Hang in there.
Honestly, my family (myself included) still grumble sometimes about cleaning up. And, yes, the house still looks like a daycare center occasionally. But if you came over right now, you might find one kiddo dusting a table, another folding his jammies and putting them away, and the whole family racing to finish our 10-Minute Pickup.
It’s a work in progress, but I’m a LOT less pissed off.
Do It Now:
- Download the Cleaning Checklist and Chores Kids Can Do from the Mama’s Lounge. You can use these to create a routine and make a plan going forward.
- Set a timer for ten minutes, put on some great music, and rally everyone in the house to work as quickly as they can to make things look better. Plan to repeat this at least once a day.
I can’t thank you enough for this page, you put down here all what I have been looking for for years, and your words for new moms are so sweet, I needed to hear those when I was there.
Keeping it simple and practicle, loved it.
D.S. Mom of five ages 6-18
Thanks so much for taking the time to leave such a kind comment Dina, and for all the hard work you’ve put into raising five lovely humans. Hugs to you.
Being a mother of 6 and a care taker has me overwhelmed. I need a guide line for my 8 year old daughter for how to picking up her room, cleaning the bathroom after herself, helping to clean common areas of the house and the kitchen. For my 14, 13 and 9 year old boys it’s the same as well as picking up wherever they go. I want them prepared for life.
Goodness! I imagine that mothering 6 certainly could feel overwhelming. I think you’re right, though. You are preparing them for life. I hope you found some helpful, age-appropriate suggestions here. My favorite family habit around cleaning is our daily 10-minute pickup, where we go through the house as quickly as possible doing our best to make it look better. Hugs to you!